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You will be able to mourn your relationship and move on towards health over time. If he is gay, he may be able to live more genuinely than he has ever been able to. You & he can both continue to parent your children. Although this is shocking & sad, you do not have to solve it all immediately. My advice is to make plans for the future rather than focussing on "finding out the truth."Įven though it was probably your plan to stay married to him for the rest of your life, take your time to figure out what steps to take next. It shouldn't affect what you already "know," which I can tell from your post. It is so good that you are already in therapy because it provides you with a platform to discuss this. Surely you are reeling and devastated at this time. But I do not want you to feel that you cannot make a healthy family lifestyle change in order to honor your need to be in a monogamous and trusting relationship. I have not had this exact experience, although I have experienced cheating by my ex. And of course how he reacted in therapy and with you ever since. I am talking about how he looked when he came into the house, how he behaved over the next minutes, hours, & days, how many small niggling issues from the recent past suddenly fell into place with this explanation. What do you guys think? If you were in that situation would you think what I am thinking? How would you go about to find out the truth? Have you gone through a similiar situation? How was your experience?įirst off, you probably saw what you thought you saw, because later there are often a hundred subtle items that either corroborate or negate your first impression. He is the only person that knows the truth. We have kids so it isn’t as easy and just get up and go. We brough it up in therapy with no much help.
I couldn’t read his body language to see if he was reacting alike he did when lied in the past. He came into the house soon after and I wasn’t gonna say anything but he saw me as pale as a ghost and I had to ask.
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So, I am trying to convince myself of something else but I cant. This all last just about 3 eternal minutes. I kept saying ‘no no! It can’t be!!’ But there wasn’t another response to that movement. I just stood there listening and feeling my heart trying to come out through my mouth. I froze! I told my brain to go outside to make sure of what i saw was correct but I couldn’t.
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I wasn’t in a view that I was aligned with the front car doors, I was aligned with the rear of the car so i couldn’t see the driver and could only see the passenger because the door was open. It couldn’t be his hand moving while talking nor the driver because it was too far ahead. The movement was right under the ‘rear view’ mirror. I couldn’t see anything because it was very dark and the windowns were tinted but when he opened the door I could clearly see the arm out of the car holding up on the roof and a certain movement because I could see a light showing up on and off because the background light from the neighboor’s home would show on and off. His leg didn’t even come out of the car which I guess it is what we tend to do when we open a door but keep finishing up a conversartion (sorry! Overanalyzing everything at this point). I thought he would come out but he dd, he puts his hand on top of the roof, like supporting himself to get out of the car but he doesn’t get out. I’m about to go back to the leaving room and then the passanger door opened. The car was on and I though that he was about to come out, a few minutes pass and nothing. Five minutes passed and nothing so I got curious and wanted to check it out but didn’t want to go through the front door so I wouldn’t seem controlling so I checked through the window. Then, the location showed that he was already at home. I though he was about to come through the door. Practice is about 25mim and 45min later I realized that he wasn’t home and checked his location being a concerned modern wife, thinking of a car accident or something. They started to carpool to practice together and then one day my husband texts me saying that he is on his way home. I was very happy for him since he always expressed that he would like to have someone that he could be comfortable to have good conversations with rather than just hang out and it seems that this spontaneously happened with this guy. I never noticed anything that obviously pointed to my husband being attracted to the same sex but about a few months ago he started to go to practice with a local sports club and met a guy who he has a lot in common.